My First Snowstorm in New York

Today marks the first time I had the honor of shuffling through a snowfall in New York.

This was especially honorific since we weren't supposed to get snow. This is a "nor' easter" that was supposed to move farther inland and dump snow on my home town while leaving us with a lot of wind and rain.

But of course the weathermen were wrong in their predictions. The storm wiggled too far to the right on their maps, probably because of Barack Obama winning the election on the left, and voila', we get a damn snowstorm.

Not just any snowstorm. It's a heavy, heavy, wet snow. The kind wherein the flakes don't alight upon your shoulders and hair but instead smack into you with the grace of a jellyfish launched from a catapult (and a smack reminiscent of a jellyfish launched from a catapult as well.)

I can now say that I sloshed through the messy slushy roads and sidewalks to get back to my apartment tonight in my first New York winter storm. And the horribly gusty winds that we had wind warnings for?

Yeah, not quite as bad as I thought it would be.

The storm has taught me a few things.

1. When it rains heavily, the subway station will have rain as well. In the station. Underground. It rains. Maybe it's just my station, I don't know, but there were literal drops of rain thumping into puddles where you are supposed to walk. Someone even put up yellow caution tape near one drippy spot. Here's an idea...fix it. Not as easy as leaving big puddles, but c'mon...this is New York City, not the damn Batcave. Can't you get rid of the drippies?
2. New Yorkers, or at least some of them, become a little more stupid in snow. GET OUT OF MY WAY. It's snow. Not gold, not lava. No need to stop and hang around at the corner when I'm trying to cross before the distracted driver chattering away on her damn cellphone runs me over.
3. When it's an extremely heavy, wet snow, that stuff will accumulate on buildings and lamps and wires, which in New York City there happens to be a lot of, and fall on you if you're within ten feet of these objects. And they do so at an amazingly high frequency.
4. Some New Yorkers have this special idea about umbrellas being biodegradable. I was amazed at the number I found discarded in the subway and along my walking route to the apartment. I don't know if there's a subgroup of people who think these things are special or if they themselves are "special," but those umbrellas you toss aside? They don't just melt away with the elements. Which is good, since umbrellas aren't supposed to melt in the rain. No, someone has to clean up after you. Maybe you're a moron or maybe you're a job creator, but either way, you're a douchecanoe. At least throw your crap away in one of the numerous trash receptacles the city has provided along sidewalks.

I'm still adjusting to life here, but I really hope this "nor' easter" isn't a preview of what's to come.